It’s easy to blame the devices that are now ever-present in our lives for the reported rise of cyberbullying. However new information tells us that bullying is not about the technology, it is about the users, writes Danielle Verrilli from South Australian, family-owned and operated Cybersafe Families.
New Australian research suggests that 72 per cent of schools were involved in managing cyberbullying-related issues and 90 percent of these incidents occurred outside of school. We also know that 83 per cent of children who bully others online also bully others in person. This information helps us to understand the role of parents and schools in making a difference. We need to give our children the support and tools they need to behave respectfully online and protect themselves from potential risks. Above all else, we need to instil values in our children that will help them to become good people who make kind choices.
- Teach empathy and respect. Keys to a positive online environment start with respect for self and others. Empathy has layers: feeling upset for someone who is having a negative experience, caring for others who are distressed and putting oneself in another’s shoes to understand what they might be thinking or feeling. Empathy is crucial to combat bullying. If everyone went through life with empathy for others, the world would be a better place, online and offline. Encourage children to have empathy for others when communicating online.
- Talk about cyber bullying with your children. Ask them if they know anyone who has been a victim of, or is, a cyber bully. Discuss possible scenarios and solutions. Most importantly let them know that the same rules apply to bullying on or offline. Encourage them to be a supportive friend and not a bystander. If they see or hear of anyone who is being bullied, they should tell a trusted adult and encourage their friend to get help. It’s also important for your child to show a position of support if they feel safe to do so. Their one supportive comment could make all the difference to a victim in distress.
- Have an online safety contract. This will do two things, open the lines of communication and give guidelines to enable a conversation centred on online safety, resulting in a common understanding of acceptable behaviour. It also gives every family member an opportunity to contribute and share anything that they may be feeling uncomfortable about. Safety contracts are available online.
- Keep children connected. If children raise an online issue with you it’s important not to take them offline. This is their world. Staying connected with supportive peers is important to recovering and building resilience. Banning them from their devices will isolate them from friends and feel like a punishment, discouraging them from coming to you next time a problem occurs.
- Give them the tools. Teach children how to block, report and delete. Most social media platforms have rules that will ban cyber bullying and have tools to allow you to ask for something to be removed, sometimes called the report button. If this is not done within 48 hours take your complaint to esafety.gov.au who will follow up with the platform. They can also find someone to provide your child with advice and strategies. Save the evidence by taking a screen shot; while this can be overwhelming and intrusive, it’s important. Don’t respond or retaliate.
- Know the platforms. It’s no longer acceptable to say that children have surpassed us where technology is concerned, and we can’t keep up. Keeping up with the latest information, the newest apps and current issues is easy thanks to government organisations that provide great up-to-date information, parents’ guides on new apps, new research and methods of reporting. Some social media sites are safer than others and most have guides for parents. Download the platforms yourself and have a good browse, then talk to your children about what they use, the advantages and disadvantages.
- Keep devices out of the bedroom. While this might seem like a no-brainer to some, if this family rule is not put into place when children are first introduced to devices it becomes a challenge with teenage children who need more privacy. While parents tend to use bedtime as down-time, scrolling through Facebook, YouTube or checking emails, this doesn’t present best modelling for our children, nor does it help our brains prepare for sleep. Invest in a good alarm clock, and put all household devices to bed in an agreed place by a certain time each night. It might be a tough adjustment but well worth it.
Statistics provided based on a range of studies reviewed and collated by BullyingNoWay.gov.au
For further information:
Social media complaints esafety.gov.au/complaints-and-reporting
Parent guides and safety contracts thinkuknow.gov