Reported incidences of Cyberbullying are on the rise. The latest information from the Office of the eSafety Commissioner suggests that in the last 12 months 72 % percent of schools were involved in managing Cyberbullying related issues and 90% of these incidences happened at home. We also know that 83% of children who bully others online also bully others in person (bullyingnoway.gov.au)
It is very easy for us to jump on the ‘evil technology’ bandwagon and blame the devices or the apps but this new information tells us that Bullying is not about the technology, it is about the users. It also helps us to understand the role of Parents and Schools in making a difference. We need to give our children the support and tools to behave respectfully online and protect themselves from potential risks like Cyber Bullying. But above all else, we need to instil the values in our children that will make them good human beings.
Teach them about empathy and respect. Empathy and respect online is key to a positive online environment. Respect for self and others first. Empathy has layers, feeling upset for someone who is having a negative experience, caring for others who are distressed and really putting oneself in another’s mind to understand what they might be thinking or feeling. Empathy is the crucial to combat bullying. If everyone went through their daily lives with a perspective of empathy for others, the world would be a better place, online and offline. Encourage children to think about empathy for others when communicating online.
Talk about Cyber Bullying with your children. Ask them if they know anyone who has been cyber bullied, or is a cyber bully. Discuss different possible scenarios and solutions. And most importantly let them know that the same rules apply to online bullying as they do for bullying. Don’t be a bystander. If they see of hear of anyone who is being bullied online they need to tell a trusted adult, and encourage their friend to get help. It’s also important for them to show a position of support if they feel safe to do so. Their one supportive comment could make all the difference to a victim in distress.
Have an online safety contract in place. This will do two things. It will open the lines of communication and give guidelines to enable a conversation that is purely centred around online safety, and as a result a common understanding of acceptable behaviour. It also gives every family member an opportunity to contribute and share anything that they be feeling uncomfortable about. There is a good online safety contracts available at www.thinkuknow.org.au or contact South Australia’s Cybersafe Families for ideas about engaging your family in a conversation about online safety.
Keep them connected. If children raise an online issue with you its important not to take them offline. This is their world. Staying connected with supportive peers is important to recovering and building resilience. Banning them from their devices is like isolating them from friends, it will feel like a punishment and therefore will discourage them from coming to you with a problem the next time something occurs.
Give them the tools. Teach children how to block, report and delete. Most social media platforms have a rules that will ban cyberbullying and will have tool that will allow you to ask for something to be removed, sometimes called the report button. If this is not done within 48 hours you can then take your complaint to https://esafety.gov.au/complaints-and-reporting and they will follow this up with the social media platform. They can also help your child find someone to talk to and give advice and strategies. Save the evidence by taking a screen shot, while this can be overwhelming and intrusive, its is important. Don’t respond or retaliate.
Know the Social Media platform they are using and get involved. Know what is happening in the online world. Keeping up with the latest information, the newest apps, the current issues is easier with government organisations like http://www.thinkuknow.gov and and http://www.eSafety.gov.auwho provide great up to date information, parents guides on new apps, new research and methods of reporting. It’s no longer acceptable to say that children have surpassed us where technology is concerned, and we can’t keep up. Some social media sites are safer than others. Get to know them, download them yourself and have a good browse, talk to your children about what they use, the advantages and disadvantages, most social media apps have guides for parents and if not it’s not hard to find them on line.
Keep devices out of the bedroom. While this might seem like a no brainer to some, if this is family rule is not put into place when children are first introduced to devices this a challenge especially with teenager children who are need of more privacy as they get older, and habits that are well ingrained. As parents we tend to use this time as down time, as we lay in bed and scroll through Facebook, YouTube or check our work emails, but this doesn’t present best modelling for our children nor does it help our brains prepare for sleep. Invest in a good an alarm clock, and put all household devices to bed in an agreed place by a certain time each night. It might be a tough adjustment but well worth it.